![]() ![]() ![]() Using your best judgment, encourage your child to stick to their commitment to perform in a band concert, finish out a sports season, or continue serving on a committee until the end of their term. “Let’s try to finish this commitment even though it’s not your favorite.”įrom soccer to debate team, it’s normal for kids to try a wide range of new activities-and want to give up when they realize that it’s not a good fit. Teaching your child to hold off and wait for intense feelings to subside before making an important decision is a skill that will serve them well long beyond their childhood years. “Let’s not make a decision on a day when it feels tough.”Īdults have all been there-wanting to give up on a friendship, job, or project on a tough day. Later, check-in and ask them what they learned from their setback. When your child makes a mistake while trying something new, make space for them to feel their frustration. ![]() Helping your child learn a new skill is a perfect way to show that mistakes are a sign they’re doing something right. “Life is always two steps forward, one step back. This phrase reminds kids that no one expects them to be an expert on their first try, and it’s ok for it to take some time to figure out something new. Small words of acknowledgment (they’re working hard) and encouragement (doing great) can help your child keep their eye on the prize as they work to master a new skill. “Becoming good at something is hard and takes time, but you are doing great.” Be sure you’re modeling this in your own life as well-when your child sees that you’re not afraid to ask for help, it’ll be easier for them to do the same. When your child is having a tough time with something, it’s important to remind them that it’s ok to reach out to someone and ask for assistance. “I can see you’re struggling with that, do you need help?” Next time your child is ready to give up on something new, try one of these phrases to provide the encouragement they need to keep moving forward. Let’s instead remind them that it takes time to master new skills. Look, we’ve all been there, we’ve all said it, but needless to say, there are better ways to encourage kids than to suggest they’re “quitters” if they want to stop. We rush to fix it! We hurry to stop them from running away! We need them to know giving up is not an option! Quickly we say “don’t be a quitter.” Oof. And when they don’t show those qualities, when they want to give up on a new hobby, or project, or homework assignment, it’s tough to know the right thing to say. All good things, right? Things we want our kids to have innately. As parents, we expose our kids to what we like or what their friends are doing. But if you’re a family of jocks and have an artist, it may take a while to hit the sweet spot. And what’s wrong with being a dilettante before zeroing in? Sports experts are now deeply concerned about the risk of injuries in kids who specialize too early rather than playing everything. Or consider that acclaimed musician Wynton Marsalis picked up a trumpet at age 14, but then practiced four hours a day because he wanted to. The more Angie experiences flow, the more she’ll be conditioning a motivated brain, so that when she is older and has to focus on things she doesn’t want to do (and there is plenty of that in adult life), she’ll be able to make herself do them. But focusing intently on that activity would be one of the best things for Angie’s brain, because it would induce what’s come to be called “flow,” when levels of certain neurochemicals in your brain - including dopamine - spike. But how could she help Angie find something that would capture her interest enough so that she’d keep at it? It might take some time to find. Bella felt it was important for Angie to work hard at something. ![]()
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |